What Is Toxic Positivity? (And How to Avoid It as a Freelancer)
While it might seem like an oxymoron at first, toxic positivity is a very real – and potentially harmful – phenomenon. Let’s take a look at what toxic positivity is, how it manifests in professional environments, and what you can do to avoid it as a freelancer.
What Is Toxic Positivity?
Toxic positivity refers to the tendency to ignore, suppress, or downplay difficult emotions in favor of maintaining a constant appearance of cheerfulness – regardless of how you actually feel.
You might recognize toxic positivity in phrases like “Just stay positive – everything happens for a reason,” “It could be worse!”, and “You’ll be fine, just keep smiling!”.
While often well-meaning, this type of phrase can minimize real emotions and discourage honest expression. Toxic positivity can come from others – friends, family, colleagues, or clients – but it can also originate from within, especially for freelancers who feel pressure to always appear composed and capable.
A positive mindset can be helpful, but toxic positivity takes optimism to an unhealthy extreme. It treats emotional discomfort as something to avoid rather than a natural (and necessary) part of growth.
Over time, living or working in an environment dominated by toxic positivity can lead you to:
- Ignore problems that need addressing
- Avoid seeking help for fear of seeming negative
- Dismiss others’ concerns or challenges
- Suppress emotions that aren’t “positive enough”
- Feel ashamed for experiencing sadness, anger, or anxiety
- Miss valuable learning opportunities by glossing over setbacks
For freelancers, the risk is even higher. Without colleagues or managers to provide feedback or external observations during challenging moments, it’s easy to internalize pressure to “power through” without acknowledging when you’re struggling.
Toxic positivity often masquerades as encouragement, making it hard to spot. But if staying upbeat feels forced, or if being open about your challenges makes you uneasy, it may be time to ask whether you’re giving yourself permission to feel the full range of your emotions.
Examples of Toxic Positivity in the Workplace
In traditional workplaces, toxic positivity can show up in subtle but damaging ways, such as:
- A “good vibes only” approach to workplace culture, where expressing frustration or doubt is frowned upon
- Prioritizing optimism over honesty, leading to sugarcoated communication that avoids difficult truths
- Dismissing concerns or criticisms with platitudes instead of genuine listening and problem-solving
- Ignoring real issues (like missed deadlines, strained client relationships, or budget problems) to preserve an appearance of calm or control
Freelancers may have more freedom than traditional employees, but that doesn’t mean they’re immune to toxic positivity. In fact, toxic positivity can be even harder to spot when you’re working independently. Rather than developing within the culture of a specific business, it may instead come from fellow freelancers, online communities, or your own internal pressure to stay upbeat and always appear professional.
You might be falling into this mindset if you:
- Downplay burnout to appear capable or easy to work with
- Avoid talking about challenges in your work to maintain a polished online presence
- Force yourself to take on every opportunity with a smile, even when you’re overwhelmed
Freelancing involves navigating rejection, creative blocks, scope creep, late payments, and tough feedback. If you insist on staying positive no matter what, you risk bottling up stress instead of addressing it. Over time, this can lead to emotional exhaustion and burnout.
Recognizing toxic positivity in your freelance life is essential. Getting out of this habit of thought is not about becoming more negative – it’s about being honest and emotionally aware. Resisting toxic positivity can help you make better decisions, build stronger client relationships, and maintain your long-term well-being.
How to Combat Toxic Positivity as a Freelancer
We’ve seen that toxic positivity can be harmful, particularly at work. But how do you combat it as a freelancer without going too far in the other direction? Here’s how to find a healthy balance:
Set Clear Boundaries
Always being available and agreeable might seem like the key to pleasing clients, but it’s not sustainable. Without clear boundaries, your work can easily spill into personal time, leading to stress and burnout. Define specific working hours, expectations for communication styles, and the extent – and limits – of what service you will provide. For example, you can choose not to respond to messages on weekends or specify how many revision rounds are included in your rate. Setting boundaries helps you stay in control without guilt.
Validate Your Emotions
Emotional validation means accepting your feelings without judgment or the need to “fix” them immediately. Where toxic positivity might say, “You should be grateful,” validation says, “It makes sense that you’re feeling overwhelmed.” Recognizing your emotions without labeling them as good or bad builds emotional resilience and allows you to respond more thoughtfully to challenges.
Express Yourself
Work comes with inevitable highs and lows. Ignoring disappointment, confusion, or anxiety won’t make them disappear. Instead, name what you’re feeling and explore it constructively. That might mean journaling, voice-noting your thoughts, talking to a peer, or seeking support from a therapist or mentor.
Connect with Others Who Understand
Freelancing can be isolating. Surround yourself with peers who normalize honest conversations, not just highlight reels. Whether it’s a Slack group, a virtual coworking session, or a monthly check-in with a fellow freelancer, having a support system helps you stay grounded and gain perspective.
Use Mistakes as Learning Opportunities
Rather than glossing over mistakes, take time to reflect on them. What went wrong? Was the brief unclear? Did you overpromise on a deadline? Use these insights to refine elements of your freelance business such as your client onboarding process, pricing structure, or communication habits. Progress doesn’t come from perfection; it comes from adjustment.
Launch or Elevate Your Freelance Career
Whether you’re an aspiring freelancer ready to make the leap, or a seasoned pro looking for new ways to grow your business, we’ve got you covered. Our Becoming A Freelancer course is designed to help you build a sustainable, rewarding freelance career. From finding your niche and building your branding to pricing your services and finding the right clients, you’ll learn practical strategies that actually work.
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